Letters from the future, Love

Dear wonderful, protective Daddy

Dear Daddy

Did you know that you will always be my hero? Men will come, and men will go, but you my dearest most wonderful daddy, you will always be there for me and I for you.

So Daddy, don’t just love me; please guide me. For though I am now and always will be your little girl, a woman I must become. As I woman, I must learn.

Dear Daddy, your protection, your love, your presence and your safe embrace do now and always will mean the world. But as I grow, it is your guidance I need. Not your shielding from the world.

For I cannot become complete if I am hidden away, protected by the candy floss cocoon that is you.

As a woman I must become strong; I must face more challenges than men; I must become aware and resilient and learn to stand on my own two feet.

Don’t protect me from this Daddy, oh I know you mean so well.

But answers I must seek; the experience I must live; I must learn where to find knowledge, for my mind is my own it cannot be held and moulded into what you deem right for me to know.

As a toddler you held my hand as I walked; you guided me to cross the road. Now as I grow, please guide me in life; be there to catch me when I fall, but Daddy, please don’t decide what I should and should not learn.

I may one day be stranded on a highway; so I will need to change a tyre myself; I will need to check the fluids in my car. If I cannot do things for myself, I will be deemed incompetent by my peers. I will lack the confidence I need to experience life as I must. I will cease to challenge myself. I will cease to grow. I will become inward-looking not outward. I will miss the depth and brightness and complexity of the world that should inspire me.

As I grow will need to seek information for projects, for college, for work and I must know where to find it. I cannot always rely on you to hold it, for Daddy although you are smart and good and wonderful, you are different from me; your needs differ from mine. We are not the same. And although I may think when I am young that you are the fountain of all knowledge, dear Daddy you are not so please do not let me seek the answers to the universe from you and only you. Teach me to question; teach me to question YOU; to question the universe, to find my own answers from the diversity that surrounds me and find the answer that rings true deep within. Don’t teach me to parrot your views and opinions, encourage me to seek my own.

Don’t require me to follow in your footsteps or Mum’s; encourage me to make my own trail; inspire me to lead and to follow my heart and find my passion, express my difference; help me believe in the who that I may one day wish to become.

Dear Daddy if I rely on you for everything, then I will know nothing. I will cease to be who I can become and instead become just what you want me to be. I will lose the truth and potential that is mine and mine alone.

I must learn to love; I must learn to lose; I must learn to counter anger with compassion. So please stand beside me as I step out into this world.

Dear daddy, how can I make up my own mind if you make it up for me? How can I express if you speak for me? How can I see if I am blinded by the presence of your light? How can I feel, if you hide me from things that make me feel?

Things will distress me true, but if they are hidden, then how will I cope when you are gone, and I am alone?

Don’t hide me from the frail, the ill, the aged in case I hurt when they die. Allow me, encourage me to enjoy their presence; to see them for who they are; to revel in their existence and value them for their fantastic existence in my life. Their knowledge, their experience is different from yours, it is different from mine but knowing it; experiencing it, enriches me and enables me to grow.

Don’t ask for me, teach me how to ask. Don’t pay for me, but teach me how to budget. Don’t do everything for me, for I will lose my strength; my courage; my independence; my curiosity; my individuality; I will not find my purpose; I will merely settle for what I know. Instead of reaching for the stars I will hold on to the closest representation of you. I will not seek a man who respects me and helps me to grow; I will fall into the arms of someone who may dominate me; keep me in my place; bind me to his reason; change me to suit his needs. I will settle Daddy; I will keep the burgeoning bud that is me, bottled; I will not blossom. I may fall into the wrong hands if I cannot learn to judge for myself.

I risk become self-centred instead of self-aware; and awareness is the key to life, awareness of self and awareness of others and awareness of my place in this beautiful, fantastical universe.

If I am not taught to understand illness and aging, how may I recognise it when the time comes for me to do so? When the time comes for me to give back to you? How will I know, if I’m never exposed?

Dear Daddy, I know you don’t want me to feel pain. I get that, I really do. But growth and completeness; compassion and understanding of my fellow man are only learned through experience. Please do not deny me this experience.

You are my hero. You always will be, but please don’t be my controller. Please don’t hold me back in the belief you are keeping me safe, for if you do and you go, then I am so vulnerable; so unprepared and I may not know how to cope.

Stand by my side and be my guiding light and as I grow, I will bathe you in the new and glorious and wondrous light that I have become.

Do not become my be-all and end-all Daddy, for I will not become me.

I am amazing and wonderful and miraculous and unique. Guide me to find that, oh sweet dear protective Daddy.

Allow me to be, Dear Daddy.

Guide me, but set me free.

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