Medication log. Felt like typing “Captain’s Log, star date 17/02/2018” but I’m not Captain Kirk and it is Starship Nic’s Head not the Enterprise. I’ve been quiet for a few days because there is a lot going on. My disordered speeding thoughts and mood swings are still there. I have not been meditating nor doing… Read More Medication log
Therapy. Therapy is what makes you better, right? BPD and C-PTSD and the need to ‘recover’ means I have to go through different types of therapy. I’m finding this problematic on three levels. Firstly, the whole concept of needing therapy to fix the person that I am or was or whatever because I am no… Read More Problems with therapy
How deep in the darkness do you dare go to lead someone you love back into the light? How do you lead someone out of the darkness when they don’t even know they are there? When blinded and programmed, living in a strange sheltered little world, withering and twisting away, dancing to the tune of… Read More How deep in the darkness do you dare go …
Viewed through the eyes of a stranger, am I fat or am I thin? Am I short or am I medium? Am I ugly or am I plain? Who knows how I’m viewed by a stranger? That view is their view alone. It may be similar to my view of myself, or it could be… Read More Viewed through the eyes of a stranger
Domestic violence can occur within any intimate relationship & the parties can be of either gender. The purpose of this is to discuss emotional violence toward a person by their partner and demonstrate also that no matter how harsh the physical abuse, the effects of emotional domestic violence can be longer lasting and more severe.… Read More Emotional abuse, bullying and insecurity
I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, “You are my servant.” –Isaiah 41:9 ———————————————————————————————————————————- I personally don’t know whether Isaiah said that or not and I am not about to get up off my backside and pick up the book which may give me… Read More You are my servant!
… and the nightmare starts again. The doors are tightly shut, the heavy curtains closed. Outside a sliver of moonlight struggles to cut a swathe through the broiling mass of black cloud. The dark branches of the oak tree in the garden, groan beneath the weight of acorns and the wind whistles across the open,… Read More A muffled thump in the darkness
My brain is a battleground. Black dog: What’s the point in getting up? I don’t want another day. BPD: I feel like sh*t. It hurts. Everything hurts. Me: C’mon guys, we have to move. I know it hurts, but let’s just move ok? This will pass. Black dog: Why? Me: Hi Dog, I’m not going… Read More Battleground brain