BPD, Mental health


A life of constant indecision. Everything, all the time is so hard. That’s one of the problems when you are diagnosed with a mental illness – particularly a personality disorder. Because suddenly you define yourself as a disorder. You don’t know whether it is you thinking or your illness thinking. It paralyses you. All self-trust,… Read More Indecision



Triggered again today. By other peoples’ losses; other peoples’ pain; other people’s grief. It whirls as swirls around and within me, screaming, burning, coursing through my veins. As I feel the pain of others, my own intensifies. My perspectives change. Memories come back to haunt me. It consumes me and I cannot find the words… Read More Triggered

Anxiety, BPD, Mental health

Driving anxiety

With all trauma-based disorders there is an element of anxiety and at times driven anxiety. One of the significant areas of anxiety for me since 30 June 2003, has been a particular anxiety. Driving. My driving doesn’t cause me anxiety. I know my limits, I know the limits of any vehicle I drive. I thoroughly… Read More Driving anxiety



People often mistakenly think that sufferers of BPD are weak, but we’re not. We have more strength and resilience than most. Think about it for a moment. Close your eyes and remember how you felt at your happiest; the time you were most in love; then how you felt in your angriest moments and those… Read More Strength


Pain and confusion

Pain. There are so few moments without it. I have to work hard to both accept it, feel it and when it is too hard to bear, then I work to distract from it. I write posts but don’t publish. Positive ones on acceptance, then a single conversation threw that out of the window for… Read More Pain and confusion