BPD, Identity, Mental health

I am liquid

That’s what I told my GP yesterday, “I can’t because I am liquid.” She was trying to get to the bottom of my belief structure. But I don’t have a real, robust and tangible belief structure. It is fluid. What I have is a lifetime of being told what things are and what things I… Read More I am liquid

BPD, Depression, Mental health

Betrayed

Betrayed. I feel so utterly and completely hurt and betrayed right now. I have no idea where to put all this hurt anymore. No idea at all. It seems that nothing I can ever do or say is right in this world. How am I supposed to get better if I don’t get a reprieve… Read More Betrayed

BPD, Mental health

Paranoia or reality?

Paranoia. It’s getting worse. Or is it? How do I know? For I am no longer a person, my mind is a muddled, confused space where reality is becoming increasingly clouded. I simply do not trust myself. I am thought. I am emotion. But I cannot make decisions. I struggle to comprehend so much of… Read More Paranoia or reality?

BPD, Mental health, Personal

Absent

Absent from the world. Locked away. Surviving. A promise I will keep. A guarantee because I now know people care. I know it is important to others that I am here. I still do not understand why. That’s a block I can’t see past. I get up; I shower, I make myself move. I know… Read More Absent