They say that writing letters is healing. You are told to write letters to your younger self. Letters to ease your conscience. Letters to let go. But when you feel you need to write a million letters, to right a million wrongs or sing a million songs, where do you start? For you know, it… Read More A million letters
BPD as a sufferer can readily be deemed a ‘curse.’ When we are not focused on the work we must do to heal; we are in a state of constant and intense emotional flux. This is exhausting and extremely painful. Not just mentally and emotionally, but physically too. But BPD has positive aspects. BPD can… Read More The positive aspects of BPD: BPD as a gift
Dear Daddy Did you know that you will always be my hero? Men will come, and men will go, but you my dearest most wonderful daddy, you will always be there for me and I for you. So Daddy, don’t just love me; please guide me. For though I am now and always will be… Read More Dear wonderful, protective Daddy
Caring for ourselves is a difficult task. At the best of times, we are all over the place emotionally, but as we come out of a crisis and take the hard road toward recovery, we need people around us who can care, guide, support and validate us and our efforts. At this critical juncture (where… Read More Caring for us as we learn to care for ourselves
This morning when I checked my phone, my Facebook feed the morning sadness was immediately transformed into tears of love. Love and empathy for people I don’t even know. People like me who are walking explosions of love. Because that’s what people with BPD are – we are love. Love in all its intensity, we… Read More Crying tears of love for strangers
How can you love yourself, when you are so un-lovable to others? When you don’t exist in entirety? When all you are is a gaping, bleeding hole? Love? Oh that’s easy. As is kindness, as is compassion, as are forgiveness and understanding. Those I can give in bucket loads. But to myself? I haven’t figured… Read More How can you love yourself?
Pondering on relationships. My relationship with self, and my relationship with an imaginary significant other. A few weeks ago, whilst I was being a good girl, meditating daily and using my DBT (Dialectical Behavioural Therapy skills) I was in a much more positive place. But me being me, because I was in a good place… Read More Goal setting: Relationship with self and others
Number one on the DSM IV for BPD is frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. So now that I am self-aware and highly embarrassed by my previous behaviour, I will describe how this manifests in me, and tell you, my imaginary significant other, how to help me with it. I no longer have… Read More Fear of abandonment and how to help alleviate it