Absent from the world. Locked away. Surviving. A promise I will keep. A guarantee because I now know people care. I know it is important to others that I am here. I still do not understand why. That’s a block I can’t see past. I get up; I shower, I make myself move. I know… Read More Absent
Therapy. Therapy is what makes you better, right? BPD and C-PTSD and the need to ‘recover’ means I have to go through different types of therapy. I’m finding this problematic on three levels. Firstly, the whole concept of needing therapy to fix the person that I am or was or whatever because I am no… Read More Problems with therapy
How deep in the darkness do you dare go to lead someone you love back into the light? How do you lead someone out of the darkness when they don’t even know they are there? When blinded and programmed, living in a strange sheltered little world, withering and twisting away, dancing to the tune of… Read More How deep in the darkness do you dare go …
I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, “You are my servant.” –Isaiah 41:9 ———————————————————————————————————————————- I personally don’t know whether Isaiah said that or not and I am not about to get up off my backside and pick up the book which may give me… Read More You are my servant!
How do you trust in fate? This is a big question. Believing in fate. I am at a point in my life where somehow, I need to do this. I need to take a leap of faith, not only is doing that a seemingly impossible task but which direction should I choose? It is a… Read More How do you trust in fate?
Oh dominant male, I may admire your strength now may you admire mine. I am not your property, I am not a thing. I am not a doll to dress as you please, nor a token, a decorative item to wear proudly on your sleeve. You do not have the right to change me, to… Read More Dear dominant male
The greatest gift I could be given would be NOT to feel. Yes, that’s right, and yes, it is the dark hours before the dawn. But instead of laying there in a puddle of emotional mess, I have decided to try and articulate this. By day, I can work this. I am learning to observe… Read More If I could ask God for a gift, what would it be?
When D2 (my psychologist) suggested doing this, my initial thought was well, okay maybe I can try, but it was quickly followed by “No way. I’m not good enough to do that. I don’t have the talent. My menopausal brain fog or BPD brain fog has severely impacted on my linguistic skills, so no I… Read More Language loss and trying to blog