I am a woman today, even though I usually am. Today is different because I am consciously trying to be a woman. Not all women, but something that I’m generally not. Today I am trying to be a feminine woman. Today I am a woman, deliberately and with thought. Today my tangled, dimpled, jolly fatness… Read More Today I am a woman
Again. I had entirely forgotten that I had previously joined the library. I must have done so when I first moved here. It is quite possible as I moved here thinking I would work part time for myself, become an active member of the local community, have time for my creative pursuits. I think I… Read More Today I joined the library
I give myself permission to smile, to cry, to take the time to heal. I give myself permission to be … I am far from perfect, but I don’t need to be. It should not be you, or you, or you who tells me who to be, what to wear, to eat, to drink, how… Read More I give myself permission …
I’m wearing pearls today. I went out. Out further than I usually go, but not physically. Physically the distance was average, just once again to the next town. But mentally further, because I didn’t go alone. Today I went to a garden party in the rain. This I am sure is the first garden party… Read More Today I’m wearing pearls
Goth? Punk? All the colours of the rainbow? Which is more me? Who knows, that changes all the time, but yes, I am at it again. One of the many things health professionals don’t tell you or seem to notice is that many borderlines have this thing about drastically altering their appearance. Cutting our hair… Read More Goth, punk or rainbow me?
I had never thought of myself as willful. Stubborn, indeed as most of my family are. But I had never thought of my stubbornness as willfulness. Until just now. Oops! I have been congratulating myself for getting up to give life another (little) chance when I came across a distress tolerance worksheet on willingness. Have… Read More Willfully Me
I feel noticeably lighter today. Not physically, that would be rather difficult as I am a mere seven kilos off from doubling my weight and even the second hand larger clothes I have, are now too tight! But lighter within me which is a brilliant state of mind to be in. Not high, not up… Read More Lighter
Baby steps. I am taking baby steps again. The world outside feels large and hostile still, but I am safe. Sitting in the waiting room of the doctor’s last week really tripped me out, and it is only in hindsight that I realise this. It is a small rural private practice, and they are short… Read More Baby steps
Just a trickle of positivity, not a lot and I have had to self-isolate to get here. I’ve been fighting a big battle lately, well for months really and have not been able to see any light. I’m still locked away, I still have the blinds and shutters closed to the world, but I’ve taken… Read More A trickle of positivity
That’s what I told my GP yesterday, “I can’t because I am liquid.” She was trying to get to the bottom of my belief structure. But I don’t have a real, robust and tangible belief structure. It is fluid. What I have is a lifetime of being told what things are and what things I… Read More I am liquid
