Trigger warning: This is not a post for people who suffer from BPD, depression or other mental health issues – this is for the rest of you; the lucky ones. This is an angry, frustrated rant from a depressed person which will likely seem harsh and controversial – and no, I am not going anywhere… Read More God won’t give me cancer
Why am I alive? Choice? Not yet. I am alive because I am under orders to stay alive. TRIGGER WARNING: That is going to sound strange to a lot of people; this is a switch. I have been programmed NOT to stay alive. This is so deeply ingrained in me, that these current counter orders… Read More Alive under orders
Social isolation. This is such a huge issue for anyone with a mental illness. You are shunned for your difference. You don’t even need to say what is wrong with you. Your distinction is noted; maybe you can’t hold eye contact or perhaps like me, you need too much eye contact; you possibly don’t say… Read More Social isolation: A killer
In an earlier article, I mentioned writing a death impact statement. Listing those you know and what affect your suicide would have upon them. Below is what I wrote a few weeks ago, when I was drowning in darkness. This is an example of the way our thoughts become warped during depressive episodes. So far,… Read More Death impact exercise
Suicide. Tough discussion right? Depression and BPD are potentially fatal. I don’t know the stats for suicide with depression but one in ten – that’s 10% of BPD sufferers successfully take their own lives. A frightening statistic eh? What’s scary with BPD is that you can be fine one moment, going about your daily business… Read More Suicide: How to make a plan to not kill yourself
TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm When D1 (my first doctor) first asked me if I self-harmed, I immediately assumed she meant cutting myself. I confessed that I had, but not since I was about twelve years old. A few weeks later, after starting DBT, I realised the awful truth. I self-harm almost daily. I am a living,… Read More What is self-harm and why do we do it?